Magic Cinema – The Top 8 Lebowski

This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

Let me tell you something that might shock you: I’ve never been in a large tournament Top 8 before. As you know from previous posts, I don’t get to do all the much “serious” playing and when I do, I don’t play such decks that are commonly referred to as “The Best Deck in the Format;” it’s more of a fun roguish build.

Anyway, when I watch players in the Top 8, I always imagine them having a good time having fun and enjoying the moment. But before the matches, I think they would trash talk to each other. “You think your Blue-White control deck can really handle my Jund deck? Ha!” You know, things like that. I just take it one step further.

This is semi-dedicated to/inspired by Kurt Porter, the 8 year-old who made Day 2 of Grand Prix: Kuala Lumpur. He’s not old enough to see this movie, and is as old as the oldest cards in Extended. I don’t want to see Chris Hanson or have people up in arms over this, it’s all a spoof. NSFW language follows.

The Top 8 Lebowski

It’s the last round of a large local Magic tournament. The event has been pretty tense as the night continues on. Three friends, CHRIS, GREG, and NELSON are sitting at a side table playing EDH while the last table is still competing. Chris knows he’s going to be in the Top 8 and is trying to ease his mind while playing some EDH with his friends. Also on his mind is the fact that he’s helping his friend who had his card shop burgled and the cards are being held for ransom by the unknown party.

INT. GAMING CENTER – NIGHT

People are gathered around the last two people competing for the coveted Top 8 spot. JESUS QUINTANA and HENRY are battling it out. The music emitting from JESUS’ headphones is Hotel California by The Gypsy Kings. As JESUS gets ready for his next turn, he shuffles his hand around, licks one of his cards lovingly, stares intensely at his opponent, then untaps and draws. The camera pans in towards his card hand and off the right is the name “JESUS” stitched on his shirt pocket above a Magic blog’s name. With a smooth motion, he drops a Bloodbraid Elf on the table, and Cascades into Maelstrom Pulse, killing his opponent’s only creature.

This insures his victory.

As the beat of the music changes, JESUS rises up from the table and starts to dance. He points to his friend LIAM as he points back. JESUS starts to strut to the judge’s table with his slip in hand as he looks towards CHRIS, GREG, and NELSON who are half playing EDH and half watching him. NELSON watches JESUS’ every move as JESUS blows him a kiss. After he gives the slip to the judge, JESUS sticks his arm up in the air and points to the sky. Continue reading “Magic Cinema – The Top 8 Lebowski”

Twitter Game #1: Caption This Image

What would you caption this image?

This is what happens when you don’t follow me on Twitter (@mtgcolorpie), you miss out fantastic contests and games. Sure, there have been better contests on twitter such as ManaNation’s win Revised and Legend’s packs and GGSLive’s contest which has been going on for about 20 weeks (is that thing finally over?). But with this game, it’s all in good fun and coming up with something creative (Aww, isn’t it cute, the little Magic blog is trying to compete with the big boys).

I’ve taken an image which seems to be a “confirmed” (by non-WotC sources, but said they got it from Wizards) for the new set Rise of the Eldrazi. All I asked you to do was to tweet me (or use the #TGotD tag for Twitter Game of the Day) a caption of the image and if you win, you get a signed card by me.

See, in MaRo’s twitter contests you don’t win anything.

Me: 1, Rosewater: 0.

What? They’re challenges? Whatever. I’m putting my own cards on the line here.

Normally I wouldn’t do a blog post on this, but I wanted to share with everyone the great answers I received for this contest. If you guys liked this, then I’ll gladly do more. What’s funny about this is that people saw different things in the image; it’s like a Rorschach test. Some people saw a mushroom, others a crab, and others some very strange things. And now, the captions:

Crabs Category:

cikesef: we have finally found it, men! AT LAST, A GIANT ENEMY CRAB!

manashark: “how many cards will that crab mill?”

Continue reading “Twitter Game #1: Caption This Image”

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Rise of the Eldrazi but Was Afraid to Ask

Whoa, this is the first of March; why are we looking at a set that’s two months away? Wasn’t Worldwake released like three weeks ago?

Oh, yeah, spoiler.

As captured by Gatheringmagic.com so nicely, Dailymtg spoiled this card on March 1st (click the link, it’s worth it), so it’s all fair game to talk about. Now that we have to wait until April 17th to hold this card in the Rise of the Eldrazi pre-release, we might as well talk endlessly about it. And of course, we’ll answer every question that’s going on through your mind.

So, what’s going on here?

What we have here is the first official spoiler card for Rise of the Eldrazi. Gleaming information from this and Eye of Ugin, we can actually get a good idea of the set.

Continue reading “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Rise of the Eldrazi but Was Afraid to Ask”

You Can’t Always Get What You Want: The Lack of a Decktype

Oh no, my Angels!

Rosterbation is a term that I learned from the great Seattle Mariner’s blog USSMariner (couldn’t find it’s true origin). When talking about dream lineups and rotations and trading players the term gets thrown around a lot in comments and forums (as well as the verb “Stop Rosterbating”). The ability to make the dream roster using whatever players there are in the game is something that passes through the mind of almost any sports fan and engages in great conversations. It’s not a bad thing, and in fact can be a healthy from time to time.

Magic has it’s own semi-related term: “Magical Christmasland” as coined by Brian David-Marshall (@Top8Games) (or Michael Jacob). It presents what the best situation is to get the most explosive opening hand draw. If your deck worked exactly like this every time it would be unstoppable. Of course, with Magic there is randomization and the very real possibility that you may never get a hand like that. When players are looking at new cards for the first time, it’s always the Magical Christmasland situation that gets people up in arms about how good a card actually is. It’s the hope that drives people to play those decks for the one time it does work.

Rosterbation is about what you would love to have but can’t get for a set of something while Magical Christmasland is the order that you would prefer it to be. There is cross-over in both areas: In baseball you want your lead-off guys to get on and your 3 & 4 hitters to drive them home (Magical Christmasland).

Today I’m going to talk about the other side: rosterbation for Magic. No, it’s not about acquiring cards that you need to build a deck, but having access to the cards needed to build it. Confused? Well answer me this: can you build a reanimator deck in Standard at this current time: (SHA, CON, REB, M10, ZEN, WWK)?

Continue reading “You Can’t Always Get What You Want: The Lack of a Decktype”

Weekly MtGCP Sponsor – Umezawa’s Cutlery

Have I sold out? I don’t know. Since Lotus Cobra is Evil has finished its run, I’ve been approached by advertisers of all kinds wanting to promote their services on my blog. Needing the money (after all, I need to buy more Magic cards), I decided it was time.

So, here’s how it’s going to work: On some Sundays, I’m going to show you the sponsor of the week. Make sure you go and buy their stuff. Here to kick it off is our first sponsor:

Next week, if you’re lucky, you might get the debut of something awesome. Still working out the details.

(Click here if you don’t get the joke, it goes to a NSFW (Language) -YouTube Clip)