Hopefully People See I'm Joking

Breaking News – Wizards of the Coast Buys NBA Team

SEATTLE – It was announced today that game company Wizards of the Coast has bought the NBA team “Washington Wizards.” Self proclaimed “World Leader of Hobby Games” was able to scrounge up enough money to bring an NBA team back to the Pacific Northwest.

Ever since the Seattle SuperSonics were bought by Oklahoma City businessman Clay Bennett and moved the team to his home town besides declaring when he bought it that would not be moved, the Seattle area has been desiring a team of their own. NBA commissioner David Stern once condemned the Key Arena saying that it wasn’t good enough for an NBA team allowed the team to relocate.

Along with the purchase of the Washington Wizards, Wizards of the Coast has also announced that they will build a new arena in Renton, just south of Seattle, next door to their headquarters. “If Magic players wondered why we started the Mythic Rarity, it was to bring an NBA team back to Seattle,” Head Designer of Magic Mark Rosewater said. “We’re sorry, and we’re going to get rid of it once we finish paying off the loan for the new stadium. It was the closest thing to printing money we could think of.” Head Developer of Magic Aaron Forsythe chimed in, “Well, that and Jace as well.”

“The Wizards of the Coast employees are local heroes,” chimed in Ben Loche, a Microsoft employee. “They were able to do something that no one else in the area has been able to do: bring an NBA team back to Seattle. And a new stadium? Wow!”

“We already had the web domain name ‘wizards.com’ anyway, so we got together and thought, ‘might as well get the NBA team too.’ And think of it this way,” Forsythe continued, “At least Dan Stienberg has one less thing to complain about.” When reached for comment, Washington DC based Washington Post sports writer threw his hands up. “Well, that’s that.”

Wizards of the Coast is also expected to buy the TV broadcasting rights of the Disney show Wizards of Waverly Place. “We’ve just got too much cash right now,” said Rosewater, as he lit a hundred dollar bill to light another hundred dollar bill to light a Jace, the Mindsculptor to light his cigar.

More details as it comes in.

Details about this story at the The Starkington Post: Sports Columnist Pissed at Wizards.

Friday Afternoon Fun – Things Tom LaPille Has Told Me

http://wp.me/p5VSx-Tb

At the Seattle M11 Prerelease, I was talking with some of the employees of Wizards of the Coast and I brought up the whole “Sixth color is coming to Magic” thread from MTGSalvation. All of the guys started laughing and saying that sometimes people read too much into things. If you don’t know how it started, one person looked at the art for Time Reversal before the card was spoiled and said “Hey, there are six colored planets (one for each color and purple) on this art and MaRo tweeted that a future set will have players the opportunity to draft something they’ve never been able to. That must mean Purple is coming to Magic!” It’s a very fun thread to read about how some people do read too much into things.

Well, the conversation went from there to how Mana Leak in M11 was spoiled by WotC employee Mr. Tom LaPille at Grand Prix DC. But there was a problem:

Rumors of my presence at Grand Prix Washington: DC are greatly exaggerated.

– Tom LaPille

Oh.

Continue reading “Friday Afternoon Fun – Things Tom LaPille Has Told Me”

Weekly MtGCP Sponsor – Umezawa’s Cutlery

Have I sold out? I don’t know. Since Lotus Cobra is Evil has finished its run, I’ve been approached by advertisers of all kinds wanting to promote their services on my blog. Needing the money (after all, I need to buy more Magic cards), I decided it was time.

So, here’s how it’s going to work: On some Sundays, I’m going to show you the sponsor of the week. Make sure you go and buy their stuff. Here to kick it off is our first sponsor:

Next week, if you’re lucky, you might get the debut of something awesome. Still working out the details.

(Click here if you don’t get the joke, it goes to a NSFW (Language) -YouTube Clip)

Blog Action Day 2009 – Climate Change – Only You Can Save the Multiverse

Editor’s Note: Today is Blog Action Day 2009. Every year, bloggers from around the world talk about one subject to try and change the world. This year, bloggers blog about Climate Change. I really don’t get political so it may come as a surprise why I’m talking about climate change in a blog about a game that prints cards on paper. If you want my opinion about the people who get political about climate change, watch this Penn & Teller clip.

So today I grabbed a celebrity to talk about climate change for me. While I didn’t get a heavy hitter like Sean Penn or Susan Sarandon (who both are suckers for complaining about anything liberal), I did someone who was pretty high up there. Also, I think the celebrity will go great with my core demographic (Male gamers). If you haven’t looked at the picture right now, shame on you. Without further ado, Natalie Portman.

Wizards of the Coast is killing the Universe.

Wait, hold on a second, let me re-read that. The Multiverse. Got it. Wizards of the Coast is killing the Multiverse. If you players don’t do something about it soon, there will be no more Multiverse left to play Magic in.

On earth, there are many different climates that you have to be concerned about. But whenever Wizards creates a new plane, it’s all one type of climate. First it was too hot there were Deserts all over the place. Then, with the creation of too many machines, they created an Ice Age. An ice age? Remember where urban sprawl took over the entire plane? You know what happened after that? Total f’ing chaos where the environment and mana was completely messed up. They’ve already allowed Acid Rain to come to pass, how long until something much worse happens? Continue reading “Blog Action Day 2009 – Climate Change – Only You Can Save the Multiverse”