Breaking News – Wizards of the Coast Buys NBA Team

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SEATTLE – It was announced today that game company Wizards of the Coast has bought the NBA team “Washington Wizards.” Self proclaimed “World Leader of Hobby Games” was able to scrounge up enough money to bring an NBA team back to the Pacific Northwest.

Ever since the Seattle SuperSonics were bought by Oklahoma City businessman Clay Bennett and moved the team to his home town besides declaring when he bought it that would not be moved, the Seattle area has been desiring a team of their own. NBA commissioner David Stern once condemned the Key Arena saying that it wasn’t good enough for an NBA team allowed the team to relocate.

Along with the purchase of the Washington Wizards, Wizards of the Coast has also announced that they will build a new arena in Renton, just south of Seattle, next door to their headquarters. “If Magic players wondered why we started the Mythic Rarity, it was to bring an NBA team back to Seattle,” Head Designer of Magic Mark Rosewater said. “We’re sorry, and we’re going to get rid of it once we finish paying off the loan for the new stadium. It was the closest thing to printing money we could think of.” Head Developer of Magic Aaron Forsythe chimed in, “Well, that and Jace as well.”

“The Wizards of the Coast employees are local heroes,” chimed in Ben Loche, a Microsoft employee. “They were able to do something that no one else in the area has been able to do: bring an NBA team back to Seattle. And a new stadium? Wow!”

“We already had the web domain name ‘wizards.com’ anyway, so we got together and thought, ‘might as well get the NBA team too.’ And think of it this way,” Forsythe continued, “At least Dan Stienberg has one less thing to complain about.” When reached for comment, Washington DC based Washington Post sports writer threw his hands up. “Well, that’s that.”

Wizards of the Coast is also expected to buy the TV broadcasting rights of the Disney show Wizards of Waverly Place. “We’ve just got too much cash right now,” said Rosewater, as he lit a hundred dollar bill to light another hundred dollar bill to light a Jace, the Mindsculptor to light his cigar.

More details as it comes in.

Details about this story at the The Starkington Post: Sports Columnist Pissed at Wizards.

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