Lotus Cobra is Evil – It’s Not Embarrassing If It’s True

Sixten has decided to tell us a story about something that really happened. See, this is what happens when I don’t go to tournaments:

Sixten tells the story:

If you are “Razor Ramon”, the person who registered the deck named “Hard Gay” at the 2010 Washington State and Provincial Championships and got called out by the head judge, I tip my hat to your guts, as it could only have been a deliberate troll.

I name my decks different names; my two favorite have been “Everyone Knows You Never Go Full Bant” and “Do You Like Huey Lewis and the News?” You named a deck before? Share it below.

Breaking News – Wizards of the Coast Buys NBA Team

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SEATTLE – It was announced today that game company Wizards of the Coast has bought the NBA team “Washington Wizards.” Self proclaimed “World Leader of Hobby Games” was able to scrounge up enough money to bring an NBA team back to the Pacific Northwest.

Ever since the Seattle SuperSonics were bought by Oklahoma City businessman Clay Bennett and moved the team to his home town besides declaring when he bought it that would not be moved, the Seattle area has been desiring a team of their own. NBA commissioner David Stern once condemned the Key Arena saying that it wasn’t good enough for an NBA team allowed the team to relocate.

Along with the purchase of the Washington Wizards, Wizards of the Coast has also announced that they will build a new arena in Renton, just south of Seattle, next door to their headquarters. “If Magic players wondered why we started the Mythic Rarity, it was to bring an NBA team back to Seattle,” Head Designer of Magic Mark Rosewater said. “We’re sorry, and we’re going to get rid of it once we finish paying off the loan for the new stadium. It was the closest thing to printing money we could think of.” Head Developer of Magic Aaron Forsythe chimed in, “Well, that and Jace as well.”

“The Wizards of the Coast employees are local heroes,” chimed in Ben Loche, a Microsoft employee. “They were able to do something that no one else in the area has been able to do: bring an NBA team back to Seattle. And a new stadium? Wow!”

“We already had the web domain name ‘wizards.com’ anyway, so we got together and thought, ‘might as well get the NBA team too.’ And think of it this way,” Forsythe continued, “At least Dan Stienberg has one less thing to complain about.” When reached for comment, Washington DC based Washington Post sports writer threw his hands up. “Well, that’s that.”

Wizards of the Coast is also expected to buy the TV broadcasting rights of the Disney show Wizards of Waverly Place. “We’ve just got too much cash right now,” said Rosewater, as he lit a hundred dollar bill to light another hundred dollar bill to light a Jace, the Mindsculptor to light his cigar.

More details as it comes in.

Details about this story at the The Starkington Post: Sports Columnist Pissed at Wizards.

The Kingdom is Coming – Card Kingdom’s New Palace

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I don’t do advertising on MTGCP.

I feel like I’m a Ronin: a masterless samurai who does what he wants when he wants. I’ve turned down advertisers on this blog before because I don’t want them to limit what I can create on this blog without feeling guilty of hurting the people paying me to write. If I want to write something that my advertisers don’t want, I’m out of luck. Not so if I don’t have any.  That’s different if I write on other websites because I’m on their site, not mine. Not being tied down to anyone exclusively allows me to do some awesome things.

Like what I’m about to talk about today.

In a series of 4 posts I will be working with Card Kingdom, one of the largest Magic suppliers on the internet, to talk about their secret project. Finally, after months of secret tweets and meetings, it can finally be announced.

But first, some back story.

I first met Dan Tharp at PAX this past year. He’s the PR director at Card Kingdom, and the one who’s behind the twitter, facebook and newsletter they put out. We’d been talking online for a while and with Card Kingdom’s presence with a booth at PAX, it would be a great time to meet. After a brief introduction, we talked about getting together at the PAX Scars of Mirrodin party afterward the convention and engage in some conversation. So, after I helped spoil those cards for you, Dan and I went to the bar for a drink.

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked.

I nodded.

“There’s going to be some exciting changes at Card Kingdom coming up. Though they’re still in the works, it looks like everything is going through.”

He had my attention. “Oh really? Like what?”

“We’re opening up a new store in Ballard.” It’s a section in the city of Seattle, for those who don’t live in the area.

“Well, that’s cool.” It’s always good when more card stores are opened as it gives more places for Magic.

Then he smiled. “But it’s going to be so much more than a store.” I was a little skeptical. How can a store be more than a store? (How am I not myself?) “We’re going to make it a mecca for gamers.”

Then he proceeded to tell me.

I am a believer.

Continue reading “The Kingdom is Coming – Card Kingdom’s New Palace”

Design Class – Gene Simmons Hates to Be Ignored

When he unmorphs, he parties all day

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Well, it finally happened.

If you’ve been paying attention to the GDS2, you’ll see that today Jonathon Loucks was eliminated. I’ve been pulling for the guy to succeed, but to tell you the truth, it wasn’t really a surprise that he was let go.

No, I haven’t done one of these goodbyes for each of the members of the Top 8, but I felt that when Jonathon was released I’d talk about the impact he’s hopefully made on budding designers.

I’ve met Jonathon a couple of times, so this is no way a bashing of him. He’s a nice, smart player, which is why he got this far. If he and I played Magic, he’d most likely beat me 9 out of 10 times (this isn’t to highlight how bad I am, just how good he is). And you can see that in his cards; it seems like everything he’s designed it’s taken to the next level. What Jonathon was doing was designing cards that he enjoys.

And that’s a bad thing.

Continue reading “Design Class – Gene Simmons Hates to Be Ignored”

Weekend Fun – Mark Rosewater Has Apparently Gone Insane

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Here’s the only GIF you ever need when talking about Magic. Just in time for the Mirrodin Besieged spoilers (as well as GDS2 fun as well)!

Save it, use it in forums, add it to your e-mails, or watch it anytime you need a pick me up. Quick access to the gif is right here: http://bit.ly/MaroInsane.

If you don’t know where this is from, enjoy!

Yes, the video is quite a bit cheesy, and they’re trying to bring back the puppet again. Oh, you don’t know the puppet WUBRG?

By no means are these spots that I’m saying everyone will laugh at; more groans then anything else and sometimes “I know people like that.” It’s an idea, and one that I hope continues to grow. They do show seeds of something’s there, but not there quite yet.

Yes, they’re meant to be educational about FNM’s and what they want to do with Mirrodin Besieged, but it doesn’t have the correct mixture of info and entertainment. The Puppet is not throwback/retro enough if he’s not being a typical MTG player (And that Puppet/Human relationship reference is just a little creepy).

Hopefully, I’ll get a little time and add in my 2 cents about a whole campaign about this in a future post.

In the mean time, enjoy the GIF. I’m sure Mr. Rosewater is going to hate me for this one for unleashing this animated goodness onto the internet (Good job on the acting, sir).