I’ve got two major passions in my life: movies and Magic. Sometimes they combine. This is one of those times. I apologize to any Vorthos that may see any canon that is off here. But as far as I know, this is a completely true story that I know totally happened like this.
EldraziBusters
There have been unconfirmed sightings of the mythical beings known as Eldrazi seen all over the plane of Zendikar destroying the landscape. Cultures on Zendikar worshiped them as Gods for thousands of years until their release a few years ago. Now, four Planeswalkers are on Zendikar to stop these giant beings. Ob Nixilis, a former demon Planeswalker, is trying to prevent this group from completing their mission. The dragon Planeswalker Ugin, who has just awoken from his slumber, is in his old cave, the Eye of Ugin, trying to save the plane from the mysterious destruction that is taking place.
INT – EYE OF UGIN – AFTERNOON
The great dragon Planeswalker UGIN is talking to a collection of his best minds in front of a map of Zendikar.
UGIN
I’ve got a plane blowing up and you guys are not giving me any answers.
If you follow me on Twitter (and you should (@MTGColorPie)), you knew that I was down at Grand Prix: Seattle Tacoma this past Saturday. Being more of a casual guy, I don’t hang around at this places all that often. It was my second time at a Grand Prix; the first one was last time a Grand Prix was at Seattle with Old Extended (2005).
Seven years ago, wow.
Anyway, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to attend Day Two of the Grand Prix even though I theoretically had a chance (the format was Sealed). I still wanted to go down and hang out, but I thought about I putting together another video. It seems like I do one every year or so (My Card Kingdom Interview at NPH Release using my iPad2, My Duel Deck: Phyrexian vs the Coalition with the old Gathering Magic’s Reinhart (I miss ya buddy)) and this would be a great time to do another one before the baby comes.
But what was I going to film about? I didn’t want to do another coverage video, so I started brainstorming some ideas. After Kornman and Holt’s fantastic video at Worlds in San Francisco with MaRo, I knew that it was more acceptable to do more sketch comedy at large events. I first came across to make “Sportscenter” type ads where they are a little off center and show a little “slice of life” of Magic. Such ideas included Trick Jarrett telling Mark Rosewater that the feedback from the internet is that they was more cat cards, Rules Manager Matt Tabak playing a game where he changes all of the card texts to help him win the game. The issue with them is that you have to be knowledgeable about the topic (how many of you how don’t follow sports don’t get many of those references in the Sportscenter ads?).
Eventually when I was brainstorming I had the following image in my head: “Coming this summer, the most action packed movie you’ve ever seen” and it cuts to people playing cards quietly. From there I went to write up a fake parody trailer about the GP. It pokes fun at trying to shoot non-visually interesting Magic competitions (believe me, there’s not that much great action unless you force it), while concurrently parodying Hasbro’s love of making everyone of their properties into an action movie. Continue reading “The Video That Wasn’t – M:TG:GP:ST:GR”
Some of you may have figured out that I’ve got three loves of my life: My wife (hi hun), Magic, and Movies. Wife doesn’t play Magic, but we watch movies together, and recently I’ve been mixing Magic and movies on this blog. In this new series (Magic Cinema), I take a look at some famous scenes in movies and imagined what they might look like if Magic was the central focus of them. This is the second scene I thought of, but more relevant timing (Note: I did not plan this to fit so well with the timing of “Lotus Cobra is Evil”) Some NSFW language, but not rampant.
A Few Good Lotus Cobras
Players are mad, they’re angry that Lotus Cobra was made a mythic, and they want answers. Why would they print such a powerful card at that rarity? More importantly the players want someone’s head on a plate. WotC offered up two of the developers who made Zendikar: Grame Hopkins and Matt Place. The two said they were just following orders but no one believes them.
Two Pro Tour players have been selected to represent the Prosecution, Mike Flores (who previewed the card and said it was nuts and one of the best cards ever printed), and Defense, Patrick Chapin (who doesn’t live in “Magic Christmas Land” (Sorry, another Premium SCG article)) as well as Fanboy Evan Erwin of “The Magic Show” to reside as judge. Smelling something fishy going on, Chapin had brought fellow Pro Player Brian Kibler to help defend the two sacrificial Zendikar designers and find out the bottom of the situation. There have been rumors of cards that were supposed to go in the Mythic Rare spot instead, to even one of the other cards moved to rare so Lotus Cobra could be Mythic, to moving Lotus Cobra to a different set altogether.
As a last ditch effort during the trial, Chapin has decided to put Mark Rosewater (MaRo), the head designer of Zendikar, on the witness stand to try and get something out of him. During his investigation, two people enter the courtroom, Elane Chase and Aaron Forsythe, both WotC Employees. After mocking Chapin for a few minutes, MaRo stands up and starts to leave. Chapin has asked him to sit back down because he wasn’t done with him.
INT – MILITARY COURTROOM – MORNING
Inside the courtroom everyone is stunned that CHAPIN told MARO to get back up on the witness stand. CHAPIN sighs and takes a drink of water. He’s decided to finally go for it, the jugular. MARO goes back to the stand and sits down.
MARO
(Sarcastically)
What would you like to discuss now? My favorite color?
CHAPIN
Mr. Rosewater, Zendikar was the first set in the block had no Green Mythic opening?
MARO
Yes.
CHAPIN
Worldwake, the next set, didn’t have an open slot for a Green Rare?
EVAN
Patrick, I think we’ve covered this, haven’t we?
CHAPIN grabs both three ring binders from KIBLER.
CHAPIN
Your Honor, these are the Multiverse database developers comments for both Zendikar and Worldwake. Zendikar shows no open Green Mythic spots that had to be created. That’s the same as Worldwake’s comments as well as there were no open Green Rare spots. I’d like to admit them as Defense Exhibits “Alpha” and “Bravo”.
EVAN
I don’t understand. You’re admitting evidence of a card hole that never existed?
CHAPIN
We believe it did, sir.
(Motioning to the WotC employees)
The Defense will be calling Elane Chase and Aaron Forsythe. They work for WotC and have intimate knowledge of the Multiverse database.
FLORES
(Standing up)
Your Honor, these two weren’t on the list.
KIBLER
Rebuttal witnesses, Your Honor, called specifically to refute testimony offered under direct examination.
If you looked closely at MARO, you could see a drop of sweat.
MTG Color Pie 