I’ve got some things that I’m bunching together, hence the second part of the title of Odds and Ends.
All of today’s words are sponsored by the website: Cool Stuff Inc.
Alright, not all of the words, but a good portion of them.
It’s like people only do these things because they can get paid. And that’s just really sad.
In the brilliant comedic movie Wayne’s World, there’s a scene where Wayne and Garth talk about having to do plugs for products, which they plug products ironically. Doing what they loved and now getting paid for it means they have to plug certain things and compromising their ideals to make sure it was profitable and didn’t offend anyone.
While I may not be Wayne nor Garth, I’ve pointed out before that I have no advertisers on this blog; it’s a personal choice that I do this (and 99EDH.com) for the love of the game. It was after I said that that I was approached by several websites who sell Magic product (and I think a dating one) to advertise on this site. I turned them down (and still do) because I want to write what I want on here without sponsors going “Really?” From fake conversations with Mark Rosewater to having Aaron Forsythe channel his inner Alec Baldwin, to just meeting and playing against really nice people, I want to control what content gets written on my blog.
Editor’s Note: This Magic Celebrity Commercial will contain NSFW language. I don’t do many posts with profanity because it’s not all that professional. Not that I’m getting paid, but I don’t need to use course language in my blog. But on the other hand since this is a Celebrity Commercial, and if I use this celebrity without language then it wouldn’t work (“Fighting a stranger in the Alps” aside). If anything might offend you, this is your warning and come back for the next post. Thank you.
INT – WIZARDS OF THE COAST MEETING ROOM – MORNING
TIM and CARL are talking to themselves as three Wizards of the Coast employees people enter the room, Mark Rosewater, known as MaRo, Mark Purvis, known as Purvis, and Aaron Forsythe, who obviously goes by Aaron. As they sit down, both Purvis and Aaron look at MaRo.
PURVIS
Are these the ad agency guys who keep coming in with horrible ideas for commercials.
MARO
One and the same.
AARON
But why are they here?
MARO
Do you know what a running joke is?
PURVIS
What is it with you and Roseanne?
MARO
Excatly.
Standing up, Tim straightens out his tie.
TIM
Welcome gentlemen to today’s pitch. As you know, I’m Tim and this is my business partner, Carl.
Carl waves and smiles. Tim picks up a pack of Planechase.
TIM
(Cont’d)
What we’ve come here to do today is to talk to you about advertising your new product, Planechase. As you know, we get famous celebrities to pitch your product to have your fans love the ad and buy it.
PURVIS
Shouldn’t that be the point of any advertising?
CARL
Yes, but we do it with flair!
AARON
Planechase is selling out all over the place, stores aren’t keeping them in stock. Why do we need to waste money by advertising it.
Carl stands up and joins Tim in the front of the room. Grabbing another pack of Planechase, Carl walks over and sit on the table right infront of the trio.
CARL
What a handsome-looking question, sir. What you’ll get is geek cred.
MARO
But that’s what you’ve been saying the past couple of times.
TIM
(Pointing at MaRo)
You sir, remember pretty well. Yes, that’s what we do. We create viral videos that get clicked, tens maybe hundreds of times on FewTube.
PURVIS
YouTube.
CARL
(Throws his hands up)
Hey mister techno-babble guy, we just give it to our nerds locked on our basement to put it on the interweb and bam!, there it is.
MARO
(Sighing)
What do you have for us this time?
TIM
After opening up these packs and playing around with it…
He puts his hand up next to his mouth like he’s telling them a secret.
TIM
(Cont’d)
…but it was hard to understand with all of the words and the pictures…
Carl fake laughs as to go along with the joke.
TIM
(Cont’d)
…we heard the name and after a few brainstorm sessions we got the celebrity and the script. One celebrity who would be perfect for this product of yours.
MARO
And can this commerical be shown on TV?
CARL
Well, the FCC doesn’t like some of the words we’re using so we’re using this as one of those virus video type of things.
PURVIS
Viral.
AARON
What? Have you already shot this thing?
MARO
Yes, it’s something they do. Luckily we don’t have to pay them unless we buy it.
TIM
So you’ve got that going for you, which is nice.
MTG Color Pie 