INT – WIZARDS OF THE COAST MEETING ROOM – MORNING
Inside one of the meeting rooms, two members of a marketing company, TIM and CARL get ready to pitch a series of commercials for the Magic: the Gathering brand. Sitting across the room are several managers of Wizards of the Coast and MARK ROSEWATER, head of Magic Design. Tim stands up and smiles.
TIM
Thank you gentlemen for meeting with us today. As you know, Blizzard decided to do some commercials for World of Warcraft with celebrities saying they played the game themselves. Those commercials were wildly successful and anything that we’ve learned is that if it works once, it will work again. We have come to you thinking the same thing: showing celebrities loving your game.
PAUL, one of the Wizards employees nods in agreement.
PAUL
That sounds perfectly reasonable. I’m sure that some of the Pro Tour players would love to be in a commercial.
Carl, sitting to Tim’s right, shakes his head no.
CARL
No, we’re thinking of movie celebrities, that lost of people know. What do William Shatner and Mr. T have in common? They have geek cred. You get someone your core demographic is familiar with,the you can have the geek cred as well.
MARK
When I was working on Roseanne…
TIM
(Cutting him off)
Fascinating story, I’m sure. We’ve already filmed a pair of commercials with a high profile actor who has a ton of geek cred.
Tim picks up a remote and points it at the screen.
TIM
(cont’d)
Let’s watch.
INT – CARD STORE – NIGHT
A sign in the store has the Magic logo with the words “DRAFT TONIGHT” below it. About two dozen Magic players of all ages wonder around the room getting ready for the next round.
CUT TO: BRIAN, a teenage kid wearing a backwards baseball cap sits down at a table and places his bag on the ground. Grabbing his draft deck he looks up at his opponent and is awestruck.
BRIAN
Christian Bale?
CHRISTIAN BALE is sitting across from our player shuffling his deck. He smiles and nods. A few other players, including a player named JEFF, gather around the two of them watching their exchange. Bale smiles and flips through his cards, picking one out and sliding across the table faceup.
BALE
How do you like my bomb?
The card he’s shows is a foil Jace Beleren. Everyone leans in and admires the card.
PLAYER #1
Wow, very nice.
Bale leans back in pride and smirks. Obviously, he’s the coolest one there.
PLAYER #2
Look at that.
BALE
Second pack, first pick.
JEFF
Good call.
BALE
That’s a game winner. Very few cards in the draft can handle it.
BRAIN
That’s very cool Bale, but that’s nothing.
Flipping through his cards, Brian takes out a single card and places it on the table next to Jace. It’s a foil Garruk Wildspeaker.
BRIAN
(cont’d)
Look at this.
PLAYER #1
That is very nice.
BRAIN
(Smirking more than Bale)
First pick, first pack.
Bale looks visibly upset, though he’s trying to keep it in.
BALE
(semi-whipering)
Nice.
JEFF
Wow. How did a nitwit like you get so lucky?
He chuckles after his own joke. Bale bite his fingers as he looks at the two cards.
BALE (V.O.)
I can’t believe Jeff prefers my opponent’s card to mine.
Opening up his draft deck, Jeff pulls out a card of his own.
JEFF
But wait, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Five five flier. Mythic. White.
As he lays it on the table, it makes an echoing noise. FOIL. BANESLAYER. ANGEL. Everyone looks in amazement.
BALE
Impressive. Very nice.
Picking it up, Bale looks at it carefully.
BALE (V.O.)
(cont’d)
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. A tasteful thickness on it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.
TITLE CARD
MAGIC: THE GATHERING
FADE TO BLACK
TIM (V.O.)
Now, this is part two of the commercial.
MARK (V.O.)
Um, what just happened?
CARL (V.O.)
Watch and you’ll understand.
INT – CARD SHOP – NIGHT
Bale and Jeff are sitting across from each other playing a match as other players look on. Jeff attacks with his foil Baneslayer Angel and smiles. Bale smiles back sarcastically.
JEFF
(gloating)
Swing in with my foil Baneslayer Angel for the win.
BALE
You like the set Fallen Empires?
JEFF
Meh. It’s ok.
BALE
(smirking)
Magic in the early days was much too flavorful for my taste. But when Fallen Empires came out in 94, I think Magic really came into its own. Flavorfully and mechanically. The set has a nice feeling of both mechanics and flavor that gives the cards a big boost.
Reaching over, Bale picks up a pack of MENTOS and eats one of them. He waits dramatically for a second then puts on a raincoat.
JEFF
Why are they’re newspapers all over the ground? You ain’t houseborken yet? (He chuckles)
BALE
No, Jeff.
JEFF
Is that a raincoat?
BALE
(Laughing)
Yes it is! In Black, there was a common called Hymn to Tourach, one of the most powerful spells. I think it’s one of their masterpieces. A spell so great, most people probably don’t pay attention to the flavor. But they should.
Bale picks up an AXE that was sitting along the table. Smiling, he stands up kicking the chair back. Everyone is just staring at the man. Clearly he’s gone mad.
BALE
(cont’d)
Because it’s not just a great discard spell that tournament worthy, it’s all about how people can use a song to worship their God and powerful words can be. Hey Jeff!
Lifting up the axe, Bale lets out a primal yell and swings it down. All can be seen is blood splattering all over his face, implying that Jeff just got struck in the face. Bale looks dead serious.
BALE
(yelling)
Try getting a foil Baneslayer Angel now you…
TITLE CARD
MAGIC: THE GATHERING
Yeah, it’s something like that.
INT – WIZARDS OF THE COAST MEETING ROOM – MORNING
The Wizards people are horrified at what they just saw.
TIM
(Smiling)
So… what you’d think?
MARK
Did I just see Christian Bale kill a man over a game of Magic?
TIM
It’s hip, it’s edgy. It’s what those Adult Swim kids love.
PAUL
You’ve got the guy who was Batman, and who did other geek worthy movies as Terminator Salvation and Equilibrium, and you do a parody of a movie that most of those people haven’t seen?
CARL
If they don’t know that we’re referencing, F them. This fits beautifully.
PAUL
You have two minutes to leave. Get out of our building.
MTG Color Pie 