After MaRo – I’m Not Talking About Treefolk

Due to today being such an awful day historically here in the United States, I decided that I should try and cheer things up a little bit. I mean, official Lowryn previews started yesterday on magicthegathering.com, and there was some excitement. This card was spoiled by Wizards so I have no problem posting it here. And for the next few weeks, if MaRo talks about a new card, I’ll most likely here as well. I’ll only show “Official” spoilers; I don’t want a lawsuit.

Yesterday, I called up MaRo after I read his article and the other posts that appeared yesterday. Here’s a transcript of that conversation. (Again, this is all parody. Don’t believe a word I say here. Except that. And that. I also changed the format, typing ‘Mr. Rosewater’ for a one line gag wasn’t worth it.)

I will be talking about themes and ideas I haven’t gotten to yet in the Color Pie Identity Project, since we haven’t reached those colors. We’ll get to them.

Hello, This is Mark Rosewater speaking.

Hello Mr. Rosewater. This is Robby **********, from mtgcolorpie.wordpress.com again.

Oh, yes I remember you. You’re the one who I made fun of since they didn’t know who Planeswalkers worked.

Yes, that’s me. I see you posted the rules last week.

We did that just for you.

Really?

No, it turns out that there were more people who didn’t understand them.

There’s still people who don’t understand them.

They will learn in time. So, what’s your complaint this week?

It’s about your preview card.

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After MaRo – Voices in My Head

Hello Robby.

God?

No, this is the voice in your head.

It’s Mr. Rosewater with a mind controlling device! He’s mad about that phone call last week. Damn, where did I put that foil helmet.

No! This is the voice in your head where you have internal monologue.

Oh, yeah. I recognize your voice now. Wait a minute, does that mean I have other voices in my head as well?

Robby hungry.

Who’s that?

Maslow’s voice.

Ah. So, what is it you want to talk to me about voice?

You remember MaRo’s article?

The topical blend one where he’s talking to his therapist?

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After MaRo – An Interview with MaRo about Planeswalkers

Warning: Let me first say that this is a fake interview. This is not real. This is a farce, a joke. Do not take anything in this “Interview” seriously. I am Orson Wells and this is my War of the Worlds. Anything you read during this interview either a setup or a punch line of a joke. Thank you for understanding.

My Tuesday posts deal with what MaRo said the day before. Yesterday was theme week about Onslaught, and since I wasn’t on the Onslaught design team, I decided to write about another topic. Since one of the biggest events ever to hit Magic happened on Thursday, I was a little curious about why nothing was said by Magic’s leader. After all, why introduce something, then don’t talk about it, especially when we don’t know what it is (we, meaning the Magic playing community).

After doing a little research online, I called Wizards and arranged a quick telephone interview with MaRo. Here’s the transcript:

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After MaRo – The 2007 State of Design Response

My Tuesday posts will be about the article that MaRo just posted the day before, calling the title: After MaRo. If you don’t usaully read him, then why are you reading my site? Today, I’ll be looking at his State of Design post he does every year. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here. Read it. I’m going to go over it and none of this will make any sense if you don’t. This is a very long post, but I don’t care if you skim it. I can’t control what you decide to read and not read on my site. (MaRo art done by UGmadness.net)

I see you MaRo, sitting in that little 102×82 rectangle looking over us as we read your report. That little knowing smile grinning at us as you tell the readers how you think Magic is going while at the same time planting hints for the next block(s). A self evaluation is always a good thing, especially when it’s not required by your boss who’s handing it to you at 4:30 Friday afternoon asking it to be done by 5 (Damn you Lumberg!).

But what I’m going to do is take your topics that you covered and tell you how I think they did this Magic year. Some will be good, some will be bad which is great because everyone likes constructed criticism, especially old Roseanne script writers who is now working in one of the better jobs in the world (Come on, who doesn’t want to be both Anne Hathaway‘s and Scarlett Johannson‘s personal slave assistant?).

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