After MaRo – I’m Not Talking About Treefolk

Due to today being such an awful day historically here in the United States, I decided that I should try and cheer things up a little bit. I mean, official Lowryn previews started yesterday on magicthegathering.com, and there was some excitement. This card was spoiled by Wizards so I have no problem posting it here. And for the next few weeks, if MaRo talks about a new card, I’ll most likely here as well. I’ll only show “Official” spoilers; I don’t want a lawsuit.

Yesterday, I called up MaRo after I read his article and the other posts that appeared yesterday. Here’s a transcript of that conversation. (Again, this is all parody. Don’t believe a word I say here. Except that. And that. I also changed the format, typing ‘Mr. Rosewater’ for a one line gag wasn’t worth it.)

I will be talking about themes and ideas I haven’t gotten to yet in the Color Pie Identity Project, since we haven’t reached those colors. We’ll get to them.

Hello, This is Mark Rosewater speaking.

Hello Mr. Rosewater. This is Robby **********, from mtgcolorpie.wordpress.com again.

Oh, yes I remember you. You’re the one who I made fun of since they didn’t know who Planeswalkers worked.

Yes, that’s me. I see you posted the rules last week.

We did that just for you.

Really?

No, it turns out that there were more people who didn’t understand them.

There’s still people who don’t understand them.

They will learn in time. So, what’s your complaint this week?

It’s about your preview card.

*Sigh* You know what? You Spikes are all alike. You want powerful cards at cheap costs to win the game as soon as possible. You’re all so predictable.

Well, it’s not really that. I kinda liked the card. It’s a Treefolk Lord.

A Treefolk what?

Lord.

That term is not ringing a bell.

Oh, that’s right. The Lord creature type doesn’t exist anymore (July 17. Scroll down). Anyway, don’t you think that you’re taking this love of Tolkien too far (I’m giving him the credit, since he’s the first one to make a complete joke about the similarities to my knowledge).

Well Tolkien is the preeminent visionary for current mythologial…

I know, I know. But this is a little close to Lord of the Rings. I mean, even the trees walked in that movie. (Due to it being a Kevin Smith Movie (Clerks 2), it’s NSFW for language. Warning you ahead of time)

So that’s what you’re hounding me on, for using Tolkien as our inspiration?

No, for previewing the wrong card. You previewed a card almost anyone could have designed. You gave the card you’re supposed to preview to Rei Nakazawa. He got a design card while you got a flavor card. He’s like the king of Flavor, and you stuck him with something that I would have loved you talk about.

Really? You don’t think I should have stared with a card that displays what the block is about?

All two sets? Gaddock Teeg is a card I would have loved to hear you use your linguistic skills.

And what would I have said?

That this demonstrates two colors that are completely overlooked in terms of playability. First, you’ve got Green’s love of creatures, and mix that with White’s controlling aspect, you can get an interesting card. It stops players (White) from playing non-creature (Green) cards with a casting cast more than four (Flavor of the block). Then, it stops (white) non-creature (Green) X-spells. And, this is a creature (To add a more need for Green,) otherwise, this could have been an enchantment (White). This is quite possibly the most Green/White creature to explore new design space since forever.

Yeah, I might have said that. I might not have. What’s your point?

This card can warp entire formats. Type one, sorry, Vintage combo decks could have Chalices and Force of Wills unplayable in turn one. It shuts down storm decks. And that’s just the top of the pile. People will have to know that this card could show up at anytime and any place. Plus, I’m sure you’ve got some interesting stories about play testing this card that I don’t know of. We design junkies love to hear that stuff.

Alright I understand. Maybe next week you’ll like my column.

I hope so. One more question.

*Sigh* What is it?

Can I preview a card?

*Click*

Hello? Mr Rosewater? Hello? Can you hear me now?